Men4God Weblog

Tonight I finally finished my proposal for a Men’s Accountability Group at my church. I am submitting the text of this request here, so that people may learn more about Christian Accountability, and please offer prayers on my behalf. I would appreciate all those reading this to be in agreement with me that I am walking in the ministerial direction that God wants me to be going, and that my proposal finds favor with my pastor, church leaders, and ultimately the men of my church. Thanks!

Proposal to create a Men’s Accountability Group for Vertical View Church

July 22^nd, 2008

As men of our church I believe we are called together for Fellowship, mentoring, and accountability.

We are called to Fellowship with our brothers in Christ, for we are better when we associate with others in the body of Christ. This we already do on a semi-regular basis, but I believe we should be committed to regular time together. The world constantly puts its own influence on us, we need to restore ourselves to a Christian world view.

And they steadfastly persevered, devoting themselves constantly to the instruction and fellowship of the apostles, to the breaking of bread [including the Lord's Supper] and prayers. – Acts 2:42

We should seek advice and counsel from those brothers more advanced in the ways of the Lord to Mentor to us, and make ourselves available to those who need advice & prayer.

Romans 14:1 As for the man who is a weak believer, welcome him [into your fellowship], but not to criticize his opinions or pass judgment on his scruples or perplex him with discussions.

Finally, as Christian men we should have someone to hold us accountable to our actions. This person is not there to judge or scold us when we fall, but to help pick us back up and lead us back to Jesus Christ through prayer, advice, and correction.

Galatians 6:1-2 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.

Rules and Format

While there are many different formats that a group such as this can choose from, I believe there are three rules which are essential for the group’s success and must be agreed upon by all participants:

1. What is said here, stays here. I may not have a scripture reference for this, but I can tell you that I don’t know anyone who wants to come into a group, discuss their innermost secrets and faults, knowing that they are going to be broadcast for others outside the group to hear. It is as simple as that. In order for this group to be successful the members must commit to keeping the information shared private and must have confidence that whatever they share will be kept confidential.

2. Absolutely no ridiculing, criticizing, or judging. We must heed the words of Mathew 7:1-2, which admonishes us not to judge others, or our Father in Heaven will judge us by the same standard.

3. His Word is our final authority. Every one of our meetings, be they the whole group or just two or three gathered together, should start and continue in prayer, keeping God’s Word first in our minds when we give advice, and referred to any time a question arises. If this group is going to bring men to Christ and help keep them to be pleasing in His sight. We must use the tools he has ordained for us, not whatever we think will fix the problem. In this we should heed the words of Timothy 3:15-17-And how from your childhood you have had a knowledge of and been acquainted with the sacred Writings, which are able to instruct you and give you the understanding for salvation which comes through faith in Christ Jesus [through the leaning of the entire human personality on God in Christ Jesus in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom, and goodness]. Every Scripture is God-breathed (given by His inspiration) and profitable for instruction, for reproof and conviction of sin, for correction of error and discipline in obedience, [and] for training in righteousness (in holy living, in conformity to God’s will in thought, purpose, and action), So that the man of God may be complete and proficient, well fitted and thoroughly equipped for every good work.

As to format, I recommend a simple style that starts with prayer, then continues on to group discussion. Topics can include any appropriate theme such as Bible stories, concerns in the news, a book that we are reading together as a group, etc. It is also VERY important to introduce any new members that might be coming for the first time and to make sure they are acquainted with everyone else. In previous groups I have noticed that it seemed easier for members to invite friends as the group is not a “church service,” so friends are more likely to come.

After group discussion, when people are more comfortable and the ice is broken, it is time for each individual to have their turn. If the group is small enough then the whole group can stay together, but I personally prefer it when the group breaks up into groups of 2 or 3. This gives each man more time, and makes it easier to open up for some men.

During this time, each man should have a turn to talk about whatever is on his heart. How his week went, his joys and concerns, and most importantly where he needs God in his life. The other members should listen actively, sharing in his joys and offering prayers and advice in areas where he needs help.

At the close of the meeting the members should gather together for closing words and prayer.

Commitment

Group Meetings: In previous groups I have noticed different levels of commitment and attitude to groups such as this. Some treat it a bit casually and only come when ever they feel burdened. Others made it a point to come to every single meeting. Whatever the stance they choose we do not judge, we love them where they are at and encourage them to come as often as possible.

Partners: If the group chooses to identify accountability partners for each participant, this commitment MUST be taken more seriously. It is a partner’s responsibility to make themselves available as often as possible. It is understood that we cannot be available at all times (many people cannot take calls at work or during other commitments) but they should agree on at least one time per day that both will be available if one of them needs to talk. This will help protect each other against the temptation to sin, and to make good choices when difficult decisions arise.

My Commitment: As group founder or facilitator, my commitment will be to attend all meetings, to be ready with discussion topics, help introduce new members, and to provide a willing replacement ahead of time if I for some reason cannot fulfill these duties. I am also willing to step aside if others wish to take a turn at facilitating for the group, but I want it understood that when I take something on, it is my responsibility to see it through and take responsibility and provide solutions for any problems that may arise.

This proposal is respectfully submitted for your consideration and prayer for its blessing and approval. I accept the fact that nothing in this document is set in stone, and that either myself, you, or the leaders of this church may need to make changes if and when this group is going to be implemented by Vertical View Ministries, which I acknowledge has as its final authority Jesus Christ, who has commissioned our Pastor to implement this ministry.